Tonight I'm....

*eating leftover frosting off of a spoon

*cramming for a set of birthdays that somehow snuck up on me

*trying to think through the details for the party this weekend, what to make, what to cook, what to buy...

~one year ago tomorrow~

*looking at old pictures

*sewing buttons on a sweater

*wondering where a year went

*or ten for that matter

*adding to an old Rainbow Bridge story and starting a new one

~yesterday-having a mini-celebration with visiting family~

*taking the time to watch them sleep

*feeling awed and proud and a little sad

*looking forward to the future, but hoping it will take it's sweet ole' time in getting here

*vowing to slow down for this next year, to live in the moment and cherish each one

*dreaming about who they will be next year, and tomorrow, and 26 years after that

*still amazed by it all, now and forever

Five Senses Friday: Smelling

The sense of smell is a tricky one for me. As is true for most people, it has the capacity to invoke strong memories in me. Unlike most people, it's a warning, alerting me to the possibility of becoming ill. Sometimes it's hard to reconcile the two. How I long to be able to sit and smell my Grandfather's cologne and be transported back to my childhood, laying in his lap in their living room and the feelings of safety and peace that well-known scent conveyed. These days it would trigger the exact opposite; fear and panic. I remember reading a book shortly after I became very ill. I could only read a little bit at a time before the ink would start to get to me, quite the blow for a life-long bookworm. The main character was talking about a package that her mother sent from halfway across the world, how she pressed the skirt to her face and just breathed and breathed because it smelled of her Mama. I remember crying because at the time, the smell of my own mother made me ill.

These days we lead a lightly scented life, full of naturally occurring smells. There are blessings in this too. You really do become more keenly aware of subtle aromas and notice things that might otherwise have gone undetected.

Some of the things I've been smelling this last week:

~baking smells; Irish Soda Bread, blueberry muffins at the beginning of the week and blueberry crisp toward the end (my supply is dwindling).

~wood smoke and damp earth

~the warm dusty smell put off by the light bulb in my sewing machine when I run it for hours on end

~the unique scent of different pillows as I cuddle each child before sleep

~cooking smells; stew with red wine, roasted root vegetables, Moroccan Carrot Soup, roasted chicken and Yorkshire Pudding

~Spring carried on the breeze

~baby hair, sweet milky breath

~the old, odd smell of new to us wooden chairs

~wool and lanolin

~freshly split wood

Five Senses Friday: Seeing

I'm taking part in Kyrie's count down to the arrival of her new little one. Each Friday, for the next five weeks, we'll be exploring one sense.

I regret that today's sense is not hearing! Wee Miss Màiri Rose really giggled for the first time yesterday! Up until now when she was tickled or excited she let out this sound that fell somewhere between a scream and a cough, but last night she laughed a real for real laugh. Oh my. Sweet, sweet girl of mine...

~Morning view~

What I've been seeing this week

• Wet sticky snow clinging to trees and later a steady flow of water dripping down from the eaves
• the occasional rock protruding out of the white
  
• lots of work to be done, in the form of piles of yarn and fabric, stacks of books and project lists
  
• A little boy, with fixed concentration, very carefully pressing a fork into balls of peanut butter cookie dough, first this way, then that.
• A sky full of birds heading home
• sunshine on golden yellow yarn
• a smiling baby with a cat tail rubbing her check
• bare forsythia branches, brought in from the snow
• light lasting well into the day
• the wood pile dwindling
• a sleepy head on my breast
• Big boys rocking a very little girl
• The biggest boy of all cuddling her to his bare chest at night
• a different slant of light
• a little dormouse pointed out by a little goose boy
• flippy floppy boys bouncing on a trampoline
• a look of surprise and joy at the first spinning of a swing
• bright blue skies
• little ones growing and changing and growing and growing some more.

~sketches and notes in my note book on plans for little wardrobes for the coming seasons~

Thinking 3/10

My boys really are so very sweet.

Noticing 2/4

How much his dimples and thick, long, eyelashes stand out since he cut his hair (did you notice his new look?).

Dimples! Is it possible that I even forgot he had them??

Rosebud Pink

Would you just look at what my dear friend Heather sent me??

A whole bag of rosebud pink yarn! And now to decide what to use it for...oh, the possibilities...

Thank you all for joining me on my little Thinking/Noticing series. It wasn't actually something I planned, it just seemed to fit where I was at for the last couple of weeks. It's also an interesting little snapshot of life during this postpartum period. I'm glad to have that bit of a record. I may well keep up with the occasional post in the same vein, but I think you can also expect some more regular style posting this week. I've lots to share; a couple of knitting projects, a hand sewing project, some machine sewing, some fabulous crochet (not my own work, obviously, as my crocheting is far from fabulous), I'd imagine you can expect some pictures of little ones, especially considering the fact that a certain little one will be turning one month old (!) this week, and I still, still haven't finished sharing Christmas presents and Iain's birthday with you. So, there are lots of options, now all that remains to be seen is if I can manage to find the time to post about any of them!

Thinking 1/31

Sitting here, on my 28th birthday, with 3 week old Màiri in my arms, thinking about the vivid picture I have in my head of holding 3 week old Iain on my 19th birthday.

Thinking 1/30

A certain little person that I know has a birthday coming up! I'm currently completely unprepared for it, but I'll pull it together. I always do. Thankfully, I have another three weeks yet. Lots and lots of ideas, but limited resources.

Thinking 1/27

Will you have curls like me? Will your hair stay the color it is now? The color of nutmeg? Or will it darken or lighten to a new shade? Will you wear it long when you are older? Or crop it short?

More Thinking 1/26

I'm not sure that I'm ready to be "done". I'm not sure I know how to be ready.

Thinking 1/26

You know, sometimes I get this sneaking suspicion that we're a little bit strange...

Noticing 1/25

More frozen things found around the house.

(*sigh* At least it's not as bad as two weeks ago, when everything I found was frozen solid.)

Noticing 1/24

Woke up to sideways snow

Thinking 1/23

photo by Galen

I’m feeling about life these days, a lot like I felt about labor. That it’s going to be hard. That it is hard. That I can do it, but that it would be easier and the experience far better if I had someone to hold my hand.